As an expectant mother or birther, many of us search for ways to feel more prepared for birth. We attend prenatal yoga, visit pelvic floor physios, see body workers, write our birth preferences, and encourage our birth partners to come to antenatal classes with us.
It often feels like we’re driving the whole process—and that’s understandable. After all, it’s our body that will give birth, not our partner’s. But here’s something that isn’t talked about enough: Birth is the beginning of your shared parenthood.
None of us would choose to solo-parent if we had the option. And yet, so often, birth becomes something only we prepare for. The truth is, birth is a team experience, and it’s the first big step in building your parenting foundation together.
My Story: What I Wish We Did Differently
I’ve had two vaginal births. Looking back, I often wish John (my husband) and I had spent more time preparing together. If we had, I believe he would’ve been more attuned to what we both needed during labour—not just me leading the way. We laugh now and say, “If we ever have a third baby, we’re signing up for my Breathe Move Birth Workshop together!” John is an incredible father and husband, and I’m so grateful for him.
Why Birth Partners Matter (Wherever You Birth)
Whether you give birth in a hospital, at home, or in a birth centre, having a confident, connected birth partner can make a world of difference. They are more than just a hand to hold. They are:
Your anchor when things feel intense
Your advocate when decisions need to be made
Your presence when you need calm, strength, or love
And yet—many partners are not as prepared as they could be. They may feel anxious about the process or overwhelmed by the responsibility. Some feel calm beforehand but are thrown off by the intensity of birth, especially when worrying about the safety of the person they love and their baby.
What Helps a Birth Partner Show Up Fully?
To show up well in birth, partners need to prepare too. Here's how:
- Regulate their own nervous system: Being grounded allows them to stay calm when you need them most.
- Attend antenatal appointments together: This builds confidence in communicating with care providers.
- Learn evidence-based birth education as a team: You’ll both feel informed and empowered.
In my birth workshops, I see this transformation time and time again. When both parents prepare together, the sense of connection and teamwork makes birth feel less daunting and more powerful.
Partners, If You’re Reading This…
You’ve got this.
Your presence matters.
Your calm, confidence, and care are powerful.
When you show up—not just physically but emotionally—you’re helping shape the beginning of a strong, connected family.
If you’re preparing for birth without a partner, know that you are not alone. Support can come in many beautiful forms—whether it’s a trusted friend, a family member, or a doula by your side. Your strength is not defined by who’s with you, but by the connection you have with yourself and the care you choose to surround yourself with. You deserve to feel supported, held, and empowered—no matter your situation or birth path.